"to grant to those who mourn in Zion—
to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness instead of mourning,
the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit;
that they may be called oaks of righteousness, "
Isn't it strange...how we give the enemy a foothold in our lives on a pretty constant basis? How we KNOW he's lying to us, but we believe the lies? How we can be having the greatest day with Jesus, and then words of doubt,fear,rejection are whispered into our ears. As a woman it goes straight to my heart, and I just get discouraged. I felt like that last night. I blogged yesterday about letting go of what I thought was best for my life and what I thought God had for my life. I went to church, was SO blessed by the message, worship was SO good, and I got to be with my high schoolers. I can't explain what it was, but less than an hour after the study was over I just hit that wall. The enemy started whispering those not-so-sweet nothings into my ear, and I believed them. I felt like I had swallowed a rock-there was just that gnawing in my stomach. I couldn't slow my thoughts down, and I felt I couldn't control them. I started to hear that lie of "you are NOT enough" and started to believe it. When I got home, I went into my usually scary-at-night-because-it's-so-big backyard, and prayed. I more than prayed I CRIED out to Jesus to take my feelings of insecurity, doubt, and all that goes along with those-and I still felt that weight in my stomach. I spent the next couple of hours trying to pray it away. At about 2:30 this morning I realized that I hadn't given my hurting to Jesus. I WANTED to hang on to my weird-kind-of suffering. I DIDN'T WANT TO RELINQUISH CONTROL OVER WHAT I DID HAVE CONTROL OVER. Literally less than 24 hours ago-I was blogging about the opposite. I'm human I suppose and can't control my emotions, but I definitely have the ability to let go and let God. (Pardon the cheese) Once I realized why I was still feeling the way I was-I took a deep breath, talked to Jesus, and closed my eyes. I fell asleep and dreamt that I was singing with John Mayer. We did his cover of XO by Beyonce-It was great. But I digress.
WHEN YOU ARE:
REMEMBER TO DO THIS:
Our God is greater, bigger, stronger, and has EVERYTHING in the palm of His hands, and He has since the beginning of time. He understands you sweating the small stuff, but you don't need to. Look to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith.
I love you guys!