Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Getting over myself

My heart has been heavy. Like, on overload-about to break through my chest-heavy.
I have trusted the Lord with every emotion, every hurt-feeling, every fear, every dream and every doubt; but I haven’t laid them down. Like a comfort blanket I stay wrapped up in my miseries, and feel sorry for myself.

I’m reminded of Job, and how he wallowed in his trials (still trusting the Lord, but having doubts). Then in my favorite chapter of the Bible Job 38 when God comes at Job with all His glory out of the whirlwind…

A few of my favorites.

(V.4) “Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth? Tell me, if you have understanding.”
(V.12-13) “Have you commanded the morning since your days began, and caused the dawn to know it’s place, that it might take hold of the skirts of the earth, and the wicked be shaken out of it?”
(V.24) “What is the way to the place where the light is distributed, or where the east wind is scattered upon the earth?”

Talk about humbling.

I sometimes feel like “Well, God already knows how I’m feeling. I don’t need to talk to Him about it.”
Then my favorite song (in the entire world) starts playing in my ears.
I will wait for you there by Phil Wickham
It’s really the only song that represents how I feel most of the time. I’m taken to and reminded of the place where God was biggest in my life. Where He met me where I was at.

Did He leave me? No.
Did He forsake me? No.
Did I make it through every fire, dark place, and empty feeling? YES.

I might have come out of those fires with some burns, I might have come out of those dark times having to wait until my eyes adjusted, but I have never felt more whole after Jesus made Himself so real and evident during those empty times.

When I place my hope, emotions, tomorrows or anything in any human/friendship/relationship? I am setting myself up for disappointment. MAN FAILS US. It’s not fair to me OR to them to hold them to a divine/Only God will never fail me standard.

“Don’t place your happiness in something you can lose.” C.S. Lewis


Trust Jesus
Let go of my burdens
Man disappoints
He is ALWAYS faithful to hold my hand as I walk this life with Him.

And here's the song I was talking about:

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