Thursday, December 6, 2012

I love you, Mags.

One of my two journals is a prayer journal, where I talk to Jesus (like I'm talking to a friend), and my other journal is where I write letters to my future husband. So that he can know what was going on in my life and what specific prayers I prayed, etc. Tonight I was writing in my prayer journal, and I realized I end my prayers the same way I end them in my "To whom it may concern..." Journal. I write: "I love you, Mags." I know that most people wouldn't find that hugely special, but it struck a hugely special cord in my heart tonight. When I was 13 years old I told Jesus that one day I wanted to get married and I wanted to have someone be as in love with me as I was going to be with them. The Lord almost audibly told me that I was going to marry the first guy I dated. I took that to heart, and I took it very seriously. However it made being a teenage girl a little bit uneasy. I would start liking someone and then analyze them inside and out for marriage potential traits. At the time there weren't a whole lot of 13 year old boys I saw myself with for the rest of my life ( At the time Justin Timberlake was the only guy for me...) Growing up with the promise that God gave me was challenging. As I got older and started liking guys more and more, I started getting disappointed when either they'd date someone else and marry them, or The Lord told me no. It doesn't get easier the longer you walk with the Lord, to hear Him tell you no to something (or someone) you really wanted. I've been walking strongly with The Lord for 13 years now and speak fluent Christianese. I know that some of Gods greatest gifts are unanswered prayers and all that jazz, but I'm still a woman who wants to fall in love and have someone fall in love with her. I'm 26 and still waiting to date the man that The Lord would have me I marry. Looking back I see all of the bullets that The Lord has caused me to dodge. I am so very thankful. Back in the beginning of this post I was talking about my prayer journal and the hugely special significance. Jesus reminded me tonight that HE is my husband. HE is in love with me. I needed that reminder tonight. Nobody can take His place. It's a different kind of love, a special kind of love. I love my Jesus and I can't wait to see what He's got for me in the next 13 years.

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