Words: Part One

"Words can build you up; words can break you down. Start a fire in your heart or, put it out."

Now, I am not going to be the first one to admit to being a Hawk Nelson fan, but I am also not going to be the first one to deny it either. Remember when you liked Simple Plan? Don't lie. That's Hawk Nelson for me. Every now and then it's nice to go back and sing a little diddy about tears soaking through a lonely sweater when I'm feeling nostalgic. BUT! Hawk Nelson is not the main topic of this blog, they are just kinda driving me to write it. When I first heard this song close to a year ago, it hit me like a train. I am NOT one to "be careful little mouth what you say..." It's probably my biggest struggle, and most obvious sign of being a far from perfect human, born into a sin nature. This song haunted me. I thought about it a lot. Mostly the pre-chorus above. Did this song convict me to the point of being a woman with eloquent speech, and completely jerk free? HECK NO...But there IS a heavier conviction than there ever has been before. Have you ever started out having the greatest day and then someone opens their mouth and inserts their foot? COMPLETELY ruining your day? Have you ever checked yourself before you wrecked yourself? Have you taken steps backwards and taken the time to examine yourself, and the way YOU speak to others? We have ALL been the person to throw someone's day off track, and THAT...is a sad statistic. I know that God created us to feel, and He gave us a voice, but His intentions weren't for us to get angry over someone's human errors, and be entirely TOO vocal about how we feel about the situation. We need to stop holding on to pet-peeves so tightly. I find myself saying "Something that I can't stand" or "Just gets under my skin..." WAY too often. I have been told that one of my spiritual gifts is Patience. I am good with kids, and I think that's where my gift of patience dies. If we're being super honest and vulnerable, here. The Lord created us to glorify Him, make His name known, and show as many people as we can the love of God. SOOOO is getting irked with someone at work showing them the love of God? Is it being a good example of how Christ would treat them in that situation? Is getting in an argument with someone in my family, and muttering under my breath some snarky statement glorifying Him? Aren't we supposed to be lights in this already CRAZY dark world? Aren't we supposed to be constant examples of Him, to His lost children? Or even the body of Christ that we sit with at church, or serve with in the youth ministry? We are ALL human, and fall short of the glory of God, so we WILL stumble, and we WILL fall..most likely all over ourselves while we are being jerks..(Romans 3:23). It is my challenge as of late to conduct myself in a manner that is WHOLLY PLEASING to the Lord, or at least to try to. I will let you know how it goes. I'm going to try to talk to Jesus more, journal more, and learn some breathing exercises.


This is part one of my "Words" series of blogs. Stay tuned!

Answered Prayers & Dodged Bullets

Have you ever THOUGHT you knew what you wanted, and you THOUGHT it was the only possible great thing that would ever happen in your life in the history of ever? So you spend day after day pouring your heart out to Jesus, telling HIM that you KNOW-if He answers these prayers your life will be complete. That your happy ever after will start the second that He says yes...WELP I have, and I doubt that I am alone in this. I have re-read my own prayer journal entries and have not been able to stifle my laughter. How naive we are. How prideful,flawed,and silly-for lack of a better word-we are. BUT how faithful, merciful, gracious and tender is our Jesus for dealing with us with such patience and kindness. He doesn't laugh at our requests, and He is ALWAYS faithful to answer. If His answer is no, I consider those dodged bullets. Because, if we were left to our own devices and were given the ability to plan out in detail our futures? We'd be making a lot of u-turns! I have prayed a lot of those prayers. I've been thankful (most of the time not right away) that God chose to give me a "Negative!". Like I said, I consider those bullets dodged. There were jobs I applied for, guys I prayed about, Countries I wanted to move to, that were all no's from the Lord. For the jobs I applied for? I am still at the job I got hired at 9 years ago, and am so content. The guys I prayed about? NONE of them my husband (he's out there somewhere! I pray for him everyday), and to me? They were bullets dodged...None of them the man God has for me, but some of them have gotten married and to their wives they are answered prayers, not dodged bullets. The country I prayed about moving to? Earth shattering things happened in my family that if I had moved without being obedient to God's answer-I would have been separated from my family when it happened. I am so thankful that God has given me clear answers when I've prayed. I am so thankful that God has spared me from being able to choose my own ending, and I am so thankful that He has guarded my heart when I had no business wearing it on my sleeve.