To love at all...

To guard your heart, but keep it vulnerable to emotions is no easy task. It IS necessary and crucial to enjoy life though. We have all heard the quotes about needing to experience the: awful/ugly/broken/pain to experience the wonderful/beautiful/whole/joy.

 

At this point in my life-28 years old, I've had my heart hurt. It's never been broken due to any guy or any relationship. When my brother passed away-my heart, my world, my sense of normalcy shattered. 

Like I said: I've never had my heart broken, but it's been bruised. For a long time the fear of rejection really halted my pursuits or attempts to even try. I've learned that there is sweetness and a story in the struggle.

I've been down but I am not out. I am clinging to Jesus, His promises and the hope that they give me. His love is relentless, His grace unwavering, His patience astounding, and I am beyond thankful to be on the receiving end of those things.

We compare our lives to stories. We talk about how God has written these epic tales that are full of life, and that we are just in the early chapters. I can't wait to watch my life unfold. Some of the characters I am just getting to know (& hopefully continue getting to know), some are so dear to my heart. Some of the places I would like to leave, revisit or stay forever-where will the Lord's will take me? 

I am not walking by sight through my story, but completely by faith. I will not compare myself to the world's standard of beauty, but I will constantly remind myself that I am made in God's image for His glory. 

All of our paths up until this point have led us to where we are, as who we are, with the people God has chosen to be with us. 

Keep your hearts safe, but don't be afraid to let it feel or to let it love.

Xoxo,

Magdalene

Count it all

When we learn a hard, but valuable lesson, our general first instinct is (a) The option WITHOUT Jesus-which is just plain surviving, or (b) The option WITH Jesus. You cling to Him- You take deep breaths, you cry, you laugh, and you get excited. His purposes are SO far above ours you guys! NOTHING that He has us endure is in vain. It is ALL intentional. It is ALL for a reason. When things are done to us, against us, etc; How cool is it to know that God knew the strength of our heart, and knew that we would be able to handle the trials that He was about to allow. 

My heart rejoices still in the midst of suffering, because my God is greater, and stronger, and loves me beyond what I will ever be able to comprehend. I will never ask again WHY God is allowing something to happen-because I know if I am patient, and allow my life to play out according to God's will-any question I ever have/have ever had, I know will be answered. I'm a huge believer in the fact that God also allows us to go through things, so that we might be abe to share our experiences with others. It's the coolest to experience God's joy after a storm. To experience the burden's lifted, and replaced with an overwhelming sense of love, and belonging. Nothing is too big, too small, too anything. HE IS BIGGER than any of your tricky situations, your heartaches, your grieving. 

A couple of nights after I wrote those first two paragraphs, my friends and I spent some time reading God's word. We didn't have a set book of the Bible in mind-but we decided on James. Chapter one is SO applicable to what I had written the blog about-my heart felt like James had been written for me. The verses about counting it all joy, and putting on steadfastness/asking God for wisdom and WAITING for it. Jesus meets us where we are at and reveals His truths and answers EXACTLY when we need to hear them. WHAT A SAVIOR.